One of the major challenges for the presenter is making the message instantly clear. Audiences cannot click “back” or "rewind" and hear again what you just said. The audience member cannot say, "Hold on while I look up the meaning of that word," or "Give me a few minutes to get some background information online.” Your language choice must be instantly clear.

The most effective way to combat this challenge of immediate clarity is to use a comparison where you connect the familiar with the unfamiliar. I'm reading a book about World War II, Unbroken, by Laura Hillenbrand. In the book she discusses how difficult it was for a pilot to fly a B-24 bomber because of the way it was constructed and the bulkiness of fuel tanks needed in order to fly l6 hours without landing. To give the reader a clear understanding of how difficult this was and why pilots disliked flying this plane, she quoted one pilot who said, "It was like sitting on the front porch and flying the house!"  You may never have been in a bomber or have any inkling about flying planes of that generation, but with this one sentence you understood how awkward and challenging this plane was to pilot.

The comparison can sometimes be a piece of humor as well as making a point clear. For example, you may not know much about defense configurations in basketball, but consider this comparison by one of the most successful NBA coaches, Norm Sloan. In talking about a zone defense he said, "It hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air." 

Such comparisons can make a world of difference in audience interest in what you have to say.

Sometimes you have to respond publicly to an honor, an action, or an announcement. Often you do not have much time to prepare and your remarks may not be very astute and structured.  

   Recently I listened to the response of a woman who had just received a major award from the college. You could tell she was not used to speaking in front of an audience. When she came to the lectern, she tentatively looked over the audience of 100 and said, "If I had one iota of an idea that I would win this award I would have bought a new dress."  The audience loved this response. She went on to say, "I come from a small town and I love that intimate and friendly atmosphere, so in my classes I want my students to feel like they have come from a small town, too."  She then thanked the people responsible for the award and sat down.

    I think she taught some valuable lessons in how to respond when you are surprised to do so. First, she took a moment to collect her thoughts. She did not start speaking until she had looked at the audience and paused. Second, she spoke from the heart. You could tell this was just an honest expression of her thoughts at this special time in her career. Third, she was brief. You may repeat yourself after two or three minutes or speak in vague generalities as you seek to say something meaningful. And finally, she tied her response directly to what required her to speak—the acceptance of this special award.

    Others have followed this formula as well. For instance, Jane Wyman, accepting an Oscar in 1949 for playing a mute character in "Johnny Belinda" said, "I accept this very gratefully for keeping my mouth shut for once. I think I'll do it again."  And she sat down.

While out shopping, have you ever run into an acquaintance whom you have not seen in a long time?  You see the person and say "hello" as you pass by.  Then a few days or weeks later you see them again in a restaurant.  You live miles apart and do not belong to the same organization or neighborhood.  Are these sightings coincidence or a significant connection?  You should find out. 

This has happened to me on more than one occasion.  When that second close encounter occurs, I walk up to the person and say, "This is the second time I have seen you in the past two weeks.  There must be a reason. What do you think it might be?"  Then I smile and wait.  Try this when it happens to you. There may be a common element that the two of you can share; if nothing else, you have a chance to renew a relationship that has been dormant for some time.  I find the person smiles, acknowledges my point, and we talk for a moment. Usually we go our ways, but occasionally the importance of the connection is clear.

    For example, in a two-week span of time, three times my wife ran into the same acquaintance who was a realtor. Since our daughter and son-in-law needed to buy a house, it seemed obvious that this was the realtor they should use. She did a marvelous job of helping them find just the right home to meet their needs and their budget.

    In getting the most out of your day, look for connections with people, or with events, or actions.  The Kentucky Derby is Saturday—perhaps the shortest sporting event with the most pomp and ceremony of any special event in our country.  What connections can you make? You don't have to be from Kentucky to enjoy this day.  Perhaps you watch the race with a friend or you have a mint julep in honor of the event.  Four days later is Cinco de Mayo.   You don't have to be in Mexico to celebrate and make connections.  Go to a Mexican restaurant and enjoy the special meals served on the fifth of May. 

    Don’t ignore coincidences. Through them, seek connections to have a richer and more enjoyable day.  I agree with rock star Brandon Boyd [no relation] when he said, "There is no coincidence. There is no such thing." 

Pointing out the faults or errors of others can be difficult.  When you do point them out, there is usually an awkward moment.  But you can often soften the challenge with humor.

  For example, my brother-in-law came into his house asking a friend, "Do you sleep in the middle of the bed?"  Our friend was puzzled by the question.  As he thought of an answer my brother-in-law said, "Well, you parked in the middle of the garage."  We all laughed, including our friend who was told in a light manner, "You did not leave a place for me to park in my own garage when it was raining." 

  The point was made, and in the future our friend will leave room for the owner of the house to park in his own garage. Even if you can't find a way to verbalize a criticism with humor, just the mental exercise of exploring more tactful ways to express your criticism of the other person will soften your message. 

  William Congreve wrote, "Music hath charms to soothe a savage beast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." The same can be said of humor in communicating difficult messages.