Category Archives: Paying Attention

Comedians Can Write, Too!

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I typically think of Tina Fey in connection with "30 Rock" or "Saturday Night Live."  I would not expect her literary skills to show up in an article in the March 14  The New Yorker, but it's there, titled "Lessons From Late Night."

When looking for material for your next presentation, read what comedians write. For example, she begins the article with, "In 1997, I realized one of my childhood dreams. (Not the one where I'm being chased by Count Chocula.)”  That is a good example of how to start a speech—a startling statement that prompts both interest and laughter.

Later in the article she refers to lessons she learned from her boss, Lorne Michaels, at “Saturday Night Live.” One principle she learned was, "The show doesn't go on because it's ready; it goes on because it's eleven-thirty."  Wow! I wish I'd thought of that when illustrating how important deadlines are in being present when you are present. Well, it doesn’t have to be original with me for me to use it. I just give credit for the source and quote her. Another important presentation principle: quote others who say it better than you can! 

That is just one example from her fascinating article. She can write funny as well as be funny—two skills that don’t always go together. And her book just released this week, Bossypants, is destined to be a hit whether or not you agree with her opinions or attitude.

We can also get material from reading funny authors and columnists. Dave Barry often deals with current events and family matters in a humorous way. We don't usually think of Alan Alda first as a comedian, but his writings have a huge amount of humor. One of the funniest stories I have ever read is his description of having the family dog stuffed after its death. Thus the title story from his book, Never Have Your Dog Stuffed, in which the story appears. He describes what Rhapsody looked like when they brought him home from the taxidermist. "The dog had a totally unrecognizable expression on his face. Nobody in our family knew who this was. He sat on his blue velvet board, looking up at us like something with rabies. We were kind of afraid of him…it became difficult to walk into the room without feeling that a wild animal was going to spring at you." What vivid description! You need this vividness in a speech when describing what you want the audience to do or how you want them to feel.

Comedians have a sense of audience that we can learn from to improve our speaking. They know what an audience will respond to, whether it is standup comedy or the reader getting hooked on an essay or a book they have written. They are experts at timing as they speak or write. They know just how to place the "punch line" where you will get the greatest response, and this shows in their writing.

One of my all-time favorite comedians was Red Skelton. His thoughts were both funny and thought-provoking, such as "I left home because I was hungry." And for speakers considering the importance of delivery: "It is not what you say that is funny, but it is how you say it."

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. Visit his site to read other valuable articles on effective speaking and listening.

Snakes in the House!

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I feel safer now. After six days of searching, the Bronx Zoo staff found the escapee, a deadly Egyptian Cobra, less than 100 feet away from its cage home.

That seems to me to take not paying attention to a new level—or low level, depending how you want to view the event. What were they thinking? To allow a potentially lethal weapon to escape unnoticed. Wow!  How about a training course in "Don't take your eyes off the snake when its door is open," or "Keys to giving attention to deadly snakes." 

But this incident (not tragedy, thankfully) demonstrates how we are often oblivious even to dangerous objects. We don't pay attention; we don't seem to focus; we overlook the obvious, as I stress in my after-dinner speech,  "Be Present When You Are Present."  

According to James Gleick in his book Faster, we spend sixteen minutes a day (roughly one year of our lives) looking for lost possessions. The old hymn by William Augustine Ogden, “Seeking the Lost,” takes on new meaning in today's fast-paced multi-tasking world. I would rather spend my time looking for lost souls than looking for lost cobras.

Think Ahead!

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            To be successful in delivering a presentation or in life, always think ahead. When giving a speech, think ahead about your audience. Find out as much as you can about the people in the audience. Talk to speakers who have addressed the group at previous meetings. Get to the meeting room early and check out your equipment, the room temperature, the lighting, and unique factors, such as an L-shaped room which might keep you from seeing all of your audience.

            Lanita's Uncle Tommy retired after 35 years of driving semis over 2 million miles without an accident. When I asked him about the most important aspect of safe driving, his answer was, "Always look down the road for brake lights."  This was another way of saying, "Think ahead." 

            To eat right, instead of stopping at the nearest fast food place on your way to a meeting, before leaving in the morning check the refrigerator for the makings of a salad you might take with you for lunch. Grab a container of yogurt and some nuts. You will eat better and feel better as the day progresses.

            Before making that important phone call, make a few notes on what you need to cover. At the beginning of the week, make a "date" for a week-end excursion with family. Make reservations a couple of days before you plan to go to your favorite restaurant. Check the calendar at the beginning of the month for birthdays of friends and family that you want to remember with a card or a call. Think before you speak.

            Don't pay attention only to what is at hand, but think ahead to the rest of the day and how to make the best use of your time and talents. Or in the words of Ed Helms, "I'm always thinking one step ahead — like a carpenter that makes stairs."

Don’t Miss the Good Stuff!

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Last week I heard speaker Scott McKain who stressed an idea about life in general: "Don't miss the good stuff." I also stress the importance of that idea about the opening of a presentation. I tell my presentation skills workshop participants to begin their next speech with "good stuff."  Beginning with an idea, quotation, or story that grabs the attention of the audience jumpstarts a successful presentation.

I also agree with Scott about life:   don't miss the "good stuff" around you. For me recently that has been watching six men’s NCAA tournament games in Chicago's United Center last weekend with my son. This regional men's Division I tournament was our eighteenth together, and we have seen 94 different teams in that period of time. (Not that I’m a numbers person, but Josh keeps track of them.) He and I also devoured some of the best tournament food—brats, barbecue, popcorn, hot pretzels, and ice cream in a waffle cone, just to mention a few. We justify all this "health" food by saying we only do this once a year.

Whatever city we are in, we take in the sights, from pier food in Jacksonville, Florida, to hiking in the Smokies when the games were in Knoxville. This past week-end we toured the Field Museum and the Museum of Science and Industry. The bonus this year was that our wives and my grandchildren joined us on Saturday and Sunday afternoon when there were no games.Sue, Steve, & Knox

This is "good stuff" for me. But other "good stuff" is the first daffodil popping up out of the ground and the grass going almost overnight from brown to green as spring begins to show its mighty colors.

Whether in a speech or in life, pay attention to the "good stuff." What is “good stuff” in your life? I welcome your comments.

 

Teaming for Success

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Today we have a guest author, speaker and consultant Joan Fox, CSP, who specializes in customer service. Her ideas on teamwork are so good you may want to forward them to everyone in your organization!

“We are born for cooperation, as are the feet, the hands, the eyelids, and the upper and lower jaws.”             
                                Marcus Aurelius 

One single fact trumps all others when it comes to the ability to deliver an exceptional client experience. Simply put, we cannot give what we do not have. It is impossible to make clients feel served if the internal culture is not one of respect, trust, open communication, support, and accountability. In other words, a team-based culture where people are truly working together is most likely to achieve an exceptional client experience.

Team is a word thrown around and discussed as if it were common and easy. The opposite is true. Most organizations run as a series of departments (which operate like compartments), committees, and isolated entities. Within each of these, there is a hierarchy of power and responsibility, blaming behaviors when things don’t get done, and a tendency to self-preserve. It is no wonder large organizations consistently struggle in delivering exceptional patient experiences.

But it can be done. Let’s examine how to be a better team by taking responsibility to be a better teammate.

Demonstrate Respect

  • Respect means listening to and actually considering a co-worker’s viewpoint.
  • Respect means not retelling the personal story a co-worker just told you.
  • Respect means supporting co-workers through your job even though you don’t personally like them.

 Communicate Better

  • Effective co-worker communication is adult communication—not adult to child.
  • Effective co-worker communication is respectful, complete, and open.
  • Effective communication includes “nice to know” facts as well as “need to know” information.

 Be Accountable

  • Take ownership for your mistakes as well as your achievements.
  • Abide by the best practices as set forth by the organization even though you may not agree.
  • Do your job to the best of your ability every single day.

 Partner with the Client in Mind

  • See yourself and what you do as a piece of the client satisfaction puzzle.
  • Understand that your efforts working with a difficult person will have positive client consequences.
  • Know that even if you never interact directly with a client, what you do and how you do it affects each patient directly.

 Great teams give stellar performances because of the lengths to which they are willing to go. They do their jobs and then some.

And Then Some

  • Go beyond your job and help out a co-worker.
  • Play the part of encourager. We all need it.
  • Be the person people look to for positive perspective.
  • Think about what someone needs before they actually need it.
  • Smile more.
  • Choose to be the person your department would be lost without.
  • Be the role model for good work ethic. 

What would your work day be like if every person you work with embraced the responsibility to be a good teammate?  What would your work day be like if you embraced the responsibility to be a good teammate?  Better, I bet—much, much better.

JoanFox-small Joan Fox is a speaker and consultant who works with organizations that want to dramatically improve their customer’s experience.  She can be reached at 513-793-9582 or [email protected].

The Attraction of the New

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Even if you are not a racing fan, you can't help but be interested in yesterday's Daytona 500 winner, rookie Trevor Bayne. We pay attention to the new. The new attracts us, and wow! was everything new for Trevor. In only his second Sprint Car start, the 20-year old Bayne stunned NASCAR's biggest names with a thrilling overtime win. He held off such racing greats as Bobby Labonte, Mark Martin, and Kurt Busch, who had a total of 74 years of racing experience without a Daytona 500 victory.

We admire the person who accomplishes something big for the first time. Those kinds of events hold our attention. For most professional race car drivers, winning the Daytona 500 is a career culminating event, not their first victory.

One of the ways to improve attention—and of course improving attention is my emphasis in many of my presentations—is to look for the new during your routine activities throughout the day. A new restaurant, a new highway billboard, or a new way to work might catch your eye.  

Clear your mind by attending a new movie, a play, or an art exhibit. This will give your mind a break from the mundane, and refresh your thinking in general.

Bask in the euphoria of Trevor Bayne (even his name invites newness) because he gives us the warm positive feelings of the new!

Valentine’s Day 2011

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Saturday night was lots of fun for Lanita and me! We attended the St. Aloysius Gonzaga Catholic Church Valentine Banquet where I was privileged to speak. Wonderful food and conversation abounded, and my speech, “Coming Home to Love and Laughter,” was well-received. 

For the benefit of those from St. Al’s who have actually found my blog, here is one husband-wife story I didn’t tell.                                              

A friend asked a man: “Did you hear the joke about the dirty window?”

“No,” he answered.

“Well, you couldn’t see through it anyway,” his friend answered. The husband thought that was pretty good, so he wanted to tell his wife.

He said, “Did you hear the joke about the window you couldn’t see through?”

“No,” she answered.

“Well,” he replied, “it’s too dirty to tell, anyway.”

Hope your Valentine Day was as much fun as ours!

Listen, Ask, Listen Again

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The words in the title of this piece are part of key training skills Delta Airlines is using to send 11,000 agents back to school, according to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal.  Another  training skill  stressed is "be there."  This is another way of saying, pay attention to your customer!  Why are these skills being taught?  Because among major airlines this past year, Delta had the highest rate of customer complaints. 

            One of the points I stress in each listening seminar and in my keynote, “Be Present When You Are Present,” is the importance of listening and paying attention to the bottom line in any situation.  Many companies have similar products and cost.  The competitive edge, as Delta knows, is that customer service is based on these people skills of listening and attention.  On my website, I even offer wallet cards with reminders of “How to Keep Listening Instead of Talking.”

            If these skills are at the crux of profit and loss in a company, think how important listening and attention are in day-to-day living!  As Henry David Thoreau said, "The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought and attended to my answer." 

Preparation Requires Going to the Source

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With everyone having access to materials on the internet, we as speakers have more challenges in developing content that is new, original, and recent. A joke I had used for years which few audiences had heard before appeared on one of the “humor for the day” sources. I realized that I could not use it anymore because some audience members might have read it on the internet. That is why personal experience or spontaneous humor is so important to develop and master. Thus personal research and preparation are essential for our presentations.

One of the reasons Clint Eastwood at the age of 80 is still an excellent actor and director is because he adheres to this rule. For example, according to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, he is preparing to direct a movie about J. Edgar Hoover. In the interview, Eastwood said, “I don’t rely on others to do this research. I went back and read probably all the material….I went and visited with the FBI in Washington, D.C., and tried to find out as much as I could about people who had worked with Hoover.”

Another example from the movie industry is in “The Apostle,” a movie written, directed, and personally financed by Robert Duvall. “The Apostle” was the culmination of a 14-year effort on the part of its creator, who also stars as the dynamic, God-fearing Texas preacher Euliss “Sonny” Dewey. Duvall, not a religious man, spent several months before making the movie going to as many church services as he could find to learn as much about the type of preacher he would portray. Research and preparation make the difference between great and average. One quotation that is attributed to various motivational gurus is “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

Pay attention to sources that other people might not consider in learning about a topic. For example, if I meet someone who has been in a career for several decades, I often ask this question: “What is one lesson you have learned in all of your years as…?” Or “What advice do you have for someone just starting out in ….?” I remember once asking a longtime university president the first question and his response was, “Don’t stay too long in a CEO-type position because after 7-8 years you have had to make tough decisions that will inevitably create some enemies and you will be limited as to what you can accomplish after that.” That was an idea I had not heard or read anywhere else and I have pondered and shared the idea many times when a CEO is facing challenges in a position. Some of these ideas are included in my presentation, Be Present When You Are Present .

Listen to the experienced and be present when important matters are being discussed. That attentiveness may lead you to a new speaking opportunity or opportunity in whatever you are pursuing. As Brooks Robinson stated, “If you’re not practicing, somebody else is, somewhere, and he’ll be ready to take your job.”

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Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. Visit his site to read other valuable articles on effective speaking and listening.

Professional Speaking…and Baseball?

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Many of us have dreamed at some point about being a professional baseball player. My dream was to be another Mickey Mantle. (I know, I know, that definitely identifies me as an old codger out of the sixties!) But instead I ended up being a professional speaker. As I was reliving my own professional baseball daydream a few days ago, I remembered the graceful swing and arm strength that the Mick had. Excited about my Cincinnati Reds in the playoffs for the first time in fifteen years, I thought, "Wait a minute! Maybe I achieved part of my dream after all. I am a professional speaker, and in many ways professional speakers are similar to baseball players." 

   Both kinds of professionals travel a lot and get to eat in different and sometimes expensive places. We see parts of the country that we might have never seen otherwise. Like the ball player, speakers perform in some little towns in the early years that anyone might have trouble finding on a map, let alone a GPS. Both professions have to face travel delays, unpredictable weather, and inexperienced drivers. I wonder if baseball players also can't resist taking a camera just in case they find that unique shot to display to friends and family. Mine was the snake crossing sign I found in the desert of Arizona. Snake crossing cropped.jpg 

  Even though we face hundreds or thousands of people in the stands or audience, both professions can be lonely. We are away from our families, we sleep in strange beds, and we talk to people we will never see again. We may be around fellow professionals, but we do not have the same openness with people that we enjoy back home.

  In baseball and speaking, we often labor in the minor leagues before getting that big break. You eat cheap and rubbery lunches which you sometimes can't identify by name. In the speaking business we call them "freebies."  In baseball, some of the lower levels of minor leagues may feel as though you are giving your time for free. In both careers, you cannot leave your other job until you get the big break. Some scout sees you play in Lexington or a bureau representative is in your audience in Bluefield and says to you after the game, "Can I see you for a moment? We need to talk."  And it is not long before you are in the big leagues. In baseball you have the tryout and in speaking you have the showcase. Sometimes you are aware of the situation, and sometimes that key person just happens to see you play or hear you speak.

  We soon learn that although we have a variety of skills and play every position or speak on lots of topics, we have to have a specialty. A baseball player may limit himself to shortstop, pitcher, catcher, reliever—or a speaker may train people in public speaking skills, or be a keynoter on attitudes, or be a seminar leader on change.

  We can never please everyone. Some "fans" will not like the way we stand at the plate or deliver our message. Others may complain about how you always hit the ball into right field instead of left field, or not like your choices of stories or slides. Then we will have the fan who thinks we are the greatest and will go to any lengths to see us play or speak and even buy a film of our last speech or game.

  At some point, when we arrive for another gig, we hear the words, "Play ball!" Or, in my case, I hear, "Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce our speaker…Steve Boyd." 

 

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. See additional articles and resources at www.sboyd.com. To book Steve, call 800-727-6520 or email him through his website.