Monthly Archives: March 2013

The Minimalist Approach to Words

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Mondrian is a great example of minimalist art.

Minimalism—extreme simplification—is an approach to art, and I believe effective communication often favors minimalism as well. Many restaurants in our city have one-word names: Crave, Zip’s, Nectar, Bakersfield, Champs, Currito, Melt, and Dynasty, just to name a few. One new restaurant has taken an even more minimalist measure; that restaurant is named “M.”

I heard a minister simplify what could be a very complicated answer when he defined preaching: “It’s just bragging on Jesus until He shows up.”

Tasks which involve emergencies have always found simple and short words of expression: “Call 911,” “stop,” danger,” “fire,” “help,” “look out,” and “jump.”

One of the benefits of revising and revisiting a presentation script or an essay is to find ways of expressing yourself with fewer words. A well-prepared essay or speech will not include verbosity or overdone explanations.

Yahoo Answers had this question, “Can you give me examples of verbose sentences?”

The response was,”Actually, yes; I suppose I could find it within my capacity to undertake such an activity, even though my schedule on this day is really quite busy. I have a small opening of available time that I could use for the purpose of composing a sentence or two that are more or less verbose in nature.”

The correct answer was a simple “Yes,” but what an effective example!

Although the above was exaggerated, you can see what happens when you give too much information. Perhaps texting and email have made everyone more sensitive to brief messages.

An effective way of developing this skill is to write down your thought. Looking at it on paper will often help you find ways to shorten the message. Speak the idea and get feedback from a colleague or friend. When preparing, keeping asking yourself, “What is a shorter way of expressing this idea?”

Mark Twain, a great wordsmith, wrote, “The more you explain it, the more I don’t understand it.”

 

Handling the Difficult Person

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I recently read this statement, “If you lend someone $20 and you never see that person again, it was probably worth it.” We sometimes have to deal with a difficult person. Having the difficult person in your meeting or, worse, reporting to such an individual or having that person report to you can be frustrating at best. There is always the customer or student or colleague who makes life difficult at times. As one sage said, “I believe some people exist simply to annoy me.”

Here are some communication techniques that can be helpful in dealing with a difficult person.

Be pleasant in your dealings with that person. Don’t return anger with anger. Keep your voice at a normal range or softer and avoid the temptation to ”put the person in his or her place.” This may be challenging if the person verbally attacks you, but your manner can calm the person.

If this is a person you will see often, learn about his or her background. Perhaps there is a reason this individual is so difficult. Perhaps they are influenced by a chronic illness or a recent family death. If you don’t have a chance to get to know them, simply assuming certain personal factors contribute to the behavior can help you have more compassion and patience.

Avoid emotional-laden words like “stupid,” “crazy,” “dumb,” and any profanity. Enough said!

Don’t interrupt. This will simply exacerbate the anger or belligerent attitude of the person. Let the person talk. Maintain a concerned expression as you listen. At any pause, ask a question to encourage them to keep talking. If you have time, say, “What else makes you so concerned?” “Have you told me everything?” or “What makes you feel this way?” or “Tell me more.”

When people are upset, they are like balloons so full they are ready to explode. This technique of asking more questions to keep them talking is like letting a balloon’s air out slowly until finally the balloon deflates completely. Helping the person cathart is letting the air out of the balloon. You do not want the balloon to pop.

When I taught a course for a public seminar company on “Dealing with the Difficult Person,” I taught a technique called “negative inquiry.” When a person is upset, ask a question about the issue. Let each of your questions build on what the person has complained about. For example, a customer might say, “You have lousy service. I’m leaving!”

Response: “What makes you say we have poor service?’”

The customer answers, “Your people are rude when I call and complain.”

Your second response might be, “What do they do that is rude?”

With each follow-up question, you gain valuable information that may improve the quality of your responses. You may even salvage this person’s business with this approach as well as learn valuable information about your company’s customer service.

If all else fails, give him $20 and see what happens.

Source of Humor for Your Next Speech

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Where can you find humor for your next presentation? You don’t have to go online to find good jokes or watch David Letterman to find laughter. Simply strike up conversations with people you meet while going about your daily activities.

For example, recently we sat down to eat in a local restaurant. I let my wife out and was parking the car. When the server came over to get our drink orders, my wife said, “We’ll both have water and I’ll have iced tea. I don’t know what he’ll drink.”

The server responded, “So what’s he going to do with the water?”

I loved this clever retort and jotted it down so I’d remember it.

While in Beaufort, South Carolina, my wife and I were eating in an outdoor section of a restaurant. A lady sat down close to us accompanied by a beautiful dog. As we sat eating and watching the dog sitting on the floor by its master, I was impressed by how well-behaved she was.

So I said to the owner of the dog, “Your dog is more well-behaved than most children.”

She said, “Thanks. That’s why my boys are in daycare and the dog is with me.”

You simply need to carry a notebook or cards with you and write down the conversation immediately so that you will not forget. You may not give your next presentation for several weeks or months, but begin your preparation by looking for humor in your next conversation.

 

Who is in Your Audience?

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Audience analysis is always important in preparing a speech. Adapting to specific people, however, is important as well.

If I know an audience member knows more about the topic than I, I might refer to something he or she has said or written to show my respect for their expertise and thus add their credibility to what I am saying.

Occasionally, I may recognize a member of my audience who holds a view different from mine. Acknowledging that position lets that person as well as the rest of the audience know that I understand there is more than one way to view the idea.

I remember telling a story that involved suicide. One member of the audience walked out at that point. I found out later her husband had committed suicide earlier that year. Knowing this would have changed my choice of examples. I learned after that experience to ask the program chair before my speech if there was anything unusual that had happened to members of my audience.

My wife and daughter are in my audience each Sunday morning. Awareness of that fact affects my content. Occasionally their immediate response changes my content. If I can’t think of a word or a scripture my wife will sometimes prompt me. I encourage that, for if I can correct a mistake quickly, my content improves. A frown from either of them will usually convince me to rethink what I just said or quickly to move away from that thought. On rare occasions, my wife’s nodding off motivated me to get to the conclusion quickly.

In addition, if I have an example that includes my daughter’s actions as a child, I ask myself if what I am about to include will embarrass or anger her. Thus sometimes I eliminate an example I would have used were she not in my audience.

A story is told of a man who got to heaven and asked about a crowd he saw gathered.

“Oh, they’re sharing stories of their experiences on earth. Would you care to participate?” answered one standing nearby.

“Why sure,” he said,, “I want to tell about the huge flood we had in 1889, in Johnstown, Pennsylvania. Twenty-two hundred people drowned.”

“That will be fine,” came the answer, “but remember, Noah will be in the audience.”

When thinking about your audience, you want to be aware if a “Noah” is present. If so, you may choose to adjust your content.

 

Staying Alert in Meetings

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You may spend more than 50% of your workday in meetings. You may listen to conversations to which you are expected to contribute or to assimilate information. You may be listening to 45-minute presentations from managers on a new process or product. You may be leading a question and answer session with a group of customers and be expected to summarize the discussion.

Any of these situations require that you pay careful attention. You may be tired, bored, and comtemplating a meeting with your son’s teacher at 7:00. You are wondering why she has called the meeting with you and your wife. Many personal issues can distract us.

What can you do to focus mentally and physically in these various challenging situations during a typical workday?

Skip the desserts. I’m glad when clients have fruit and nuts for snacks at breaks and go light on the brownies and donuts. I know I will have a more attentive audience.

Make a game out of listening—especially to boring or repetitive presentations. Seek to learn something new. Challenge yourself to think of a way you might make the same tedious material more interesting to the group. Determine to find an idea in the content of the discussion that you will share at the family dinner that night.

Sit toward the front and in the center if you are in a classroom-style room listening to a speech. You will feel more pressure to be alert since the speaker will have you directly in his or her sight.

Doodling may be a good activity when you are not taking notes. Although this sounds counterproductive, this action will engage your right brain and you will respond with both the left and right brain, which will increase your alertness.

Certainly taking notes will keep you on task with the speaker or discussion topic. Don’t take notes in sentences, but use a key word or phrase method. If you take too many notes, you can lose the line of thought of the speaker.

Sit by people who will encourage you to pay attention by their own behavior. Avoid sitting by the jokesters and ones who want to carry on their own conversations instead of being attentive to the direction and content of the meeting.

Falling asleep and possibly snoring is no way to impress the boss or increase your understanding of what is happening in your organization. Once, during a speech that preceded mine, a person fell asleep. As we all tend to do when we realize that we have nodded off, he jerked his head back up suddenly, pulling a muscle in his neck. His pain was so severe he had to be carried out of the room on a stretcher!

So try to see yourself in similar situations and use these techniques to stay alert and make maximum use of meeting time.