Monthly Archives: February 2012

A New Generation of Communication Trainers

Posted on by

Last week, my guest lecture to a communication consulting class of graduate students at Purdue University was an energizing experience. Not only were they attentive and excellent contributors to my content, they also asked questions that helped me understand what the next generation of trainers are concerned with as they enter the job market or academia.

One important area of questioning was how the business has changed since I started. This told me that they are very much aware of the challenges of today’s job market for young professionals.

Some of their concerns addressed ethical issues which told me that students don’t want to make the unethical decisions that too many businesses have made and they have been exposed to by the media. This gave me a perfect excuse to discuss the importance of giving credit when you use ideas from others and the importance of avoiding plagiarism in writing or in exercises you conduct in seminars. Don’t just give a source for an activity; if you plan to use the same exact exercise that is someone else’s, ask permission or check on copyright before using it.

Since my son is on the communication faculty at Purdue, some of the class members had been students of his; they asked about joint programs and papers we have done. He did most of the writing and I did much of the leg work or used my past experiences that he could reference when he did not have experience in that area.

I was impressed with the preparation they had made for my presentation. They had visited my website, read my articles, and were ready with questions. My favorites were these, “What are rewards besides money?” “Do you avoid certain cities to do programs in?” and “What are major frustrations in being a consultant?”

Probably what should have been a little embarrassing was that at times my son remembered more about my business than I did. For example, one question was “What is the worst experience you have had in a training session?” I gave one example and Josh said, “Well, Dad, how about the seminar with the realtors?” He was right; it was far worse than the one I mentioned.

I had a group of 200 realtors for a three-hour seminar. The introducer began by telling that several would be leaving during my session to attend the president’s mother’s funeral. Then he said, “There has been a mix-up in the paper work for continuing education credit for this program. I was informed this morning that you will get no credit for this seminar. Here is Steve.” Twelve people left before I started speaking. Others were so angry that they would not pass the outlines down the row. And I had three hours with them!

I am very optimistic about our next generation of trainers if this graduate class is typical of the people entering the job market. I trust they received a reality check in their time spent with me. In addition to the energy they gave me, I received a Purdue Communication T-shirt in school colors. A win-win!
Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor Emeritus of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. See additional articles and resources at www.sboyd.com. To book Steve, call 800-727-6520 or email him through his website.

Do You Talk Too Much?

Posted on by

To be a good conversationalist, you must be quiet. We all have friends whom we admire and respect, but we don’t like to spend much time with them because they talk constantly. Even when they do stop and you get a chance to make a comment, that always leads to another example in his or her own personal life. We like people who listen to us and take the time to ask questions about something we have said.

A good conversation is like a game of tennis. You volley back and forth with words as the tennis players do with the tennis ball. After one player has been serving the ball and the game is over, the receiving player gets to hit the ball first and the next game is on. In like manner you want to take turns speaking so that each person gets the chance to receive information and also to share information. When one person dominates by talking too much, the person listening becomes frustrated and will often end the conversation.

President Calvin Coolidge was known as one who did not have much to say. There was a dinner at the White House when he was president. A woman sidled up him and said, “You must talk to me, Mr. President. I made a bet today that I could get more than two words out of you.” Coolidge whispered back, “You lose.”

Most of us would win that bet. A wise person once said, “The only reason we listen is we know that we get to talk next.” When we do talk, we often say too much. Here are some tips on being a good conversationalist.

Talk less than you listen. Make a mental note as you are conversing about the amount of time you are talking versus listening. Any more than fifty percent is too much. To help you accomplish this goal, be ready with an open question. A good one is “How do you feel…?” or “What do you think…?”

When the talker finishes, don’t give in to the human urge to “one up” the other person with your own story. We often respond to a person telling about a difficult client or a frustrating trip with, “Let me tell you what happened to me when…” Instead of telling your own story, follow up with a question seeking more information about what happened. That lets the other person know you were listening and you were interested in what he or she was saying.

My mother-in-law had a favorite saying: “Never tell all you know.” That is good advice for a conversation in general. Stop talking long before you have run out of anything to say. Most of us have had the experience of saying too much and later thinking, “I didn’t need to tell that much.”

Truman Capote said, “A conversation is a dialogue, not a monologue. That’s why there are so few good conversations: due to scarcity, two intelligent talkers seldom meet.”

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor Emeritus of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. See additional articles and resources at www.sboyd.com. To book Steve, call 800-727-6520 or email him through his website.

Let’s Stand and Meet

Posted on by

According to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal, stand-up meetings are becoming common in some companies.  In one company, Atomic Object, employees follow these rules, "Attendance is mandatory, nonwork chitchat is kept to a minimum, and, above all, everyone has to stand up." 

            This trend says much about why we don't like to go to meetings.  They are too long; they often involve irrelevant information, they are boring.  Atomic Objects is a soft-ware development firm where their meetings last five minutes each morning.  We may think standing for a meeting is a little extreme, but the idea of speeding things along in meetings is positive.  Here are some tips in addition to standing up for a successful meeting. 

            Send out an agenda 24 hours before the meeting so everyone has a chance to prepare.  Take turns conducting meetings when they are held at a regular time each week.  This helps everyone have a vested interest in the meeting because each person knows his or her turn is coming soon. 

            Start by announcing the length of the meeting and remind the group toward the middle of the meeting how much time is left.  End the meeting by summarizing and then giving relevant information about the next meeting. 

            Start on time even if all members are not present.  Limit discussion time.  Encourage quiet people to participate by asking them a direct open question. 

            We are used to the refrain, "Let's stand and sing."  Maybe to improve morale and get work done more efficiently in meetings, we may want to say, "Let's stand and meet."