Monthly Archives: May 2011

I Wanted to Cry!

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          My favorite annual sporting event is the Indianapolis 500. Everyone in the family knows not to bother me from 12:15 to about 3:30 on the Sunday afternoon of Memorial Day week-end, because I'm glued to the television watching THE race. Yesterday afternoon was an exciting race. There were many lead changes and no one seemed to have the dominant car this year. The last lap had a rookie leading the race—an incredible achievement for a rookie to win the Indy 500. Only eight rookies have won in the hundred years of the race. JR Hildebrand, with a four-second lead,  was one turn away from winning the Indianapolis 500 when he skidded high into the wall on the final turn and Dan Wheldon drove past to win. It was Wheldon's second time to win the Indy 500, but the first time he was in the lead in this race.

          Now think about this. Hildebrand had already successfully negotiated that turn 199 times in the race. This time he was leading the race. There was no traffic nearby. The checkered flag was moments away and he lost control going into the last turn.

          His did not lose a tire. His steering did not break. The car was mechanically sound. He simply did not pay careful enough attention to something he had done nearly 200 times earlier in the afternoon. Maybe he was thinking about the bottle of milk awaiting the winner in Victory Lane. Maybe he was already counting the huge sum of money the winner would take home. But he wasn't paying careful attention and he crashed. I couldn't believe what I saw on the screen! I wanted to cry! I couldn't bear to watch him climb out of the car.

          Another sad story to add to my collection about what happens when you do not pay attention. Most of our paying attention mistakes are less public and less costly. Remind yourself at the start of each day:  pay attention. According to Winifred Gallagher, in RAPT: Attention and the Focused Life, by simply paying attention to your food and eating it slowly, you can cut 67 calories from each dinner and seven pounds in a year.

          Gift cards are a great boon to retailers and restaurants. The reason? People forget about them and don’t use them. We don't pay attention! According to Tower Group, a consulting firm, nearly 5 billion in gift cards will go unused this year. No wonder we see so many advertisements for gift cards.

          Don't miss out on life simply because you are not really present when you are present. As I quote in “Be Present When You Are Present,” Ray LeBlond said, “You learn something every day if you pay attention." And, I would add, you won't lose a career auto race!

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor Emeritus of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. Visit his website, http://sboyd.com, to read other valuable articles on effective speaking and listening.

Winning Over Your Audience

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One of the basics of effective public speaking is to identify with your audience by referring to something that connects you with them. This might be a positive experience you had in their city previously, or a friend who hails from their town. But an even more effective way might be to mention something about their city, company, or community that they don’t even know.

For example, I made a less than positive remark to a friend about the city he had moved to when he left the Cincinnati area—the small city of Kokomo, Indiana, population 46,315.

I received an email from him recently in which he sought to enhance the image of the city in my mind by noting that it is known as the “city of firsts.”  He then proceeded to mention several of them:   the first canned tomato juice, the first push-button car radio, and the first all-transistor car radio.

There will usually be some piece of history or a certain trait of the town that few if any of the audience would know. With access to a wealth of information on any subject on the internet, you can quickly identify the community you are speaking in and a piece of information that will be likely to impress the audience with your understanding of your location.

Before the 1960s, my home town of Bedford, Indiana, was known as the “limestone capital of the world.” You may even have a building in your city made out of Bedford stone. Being a stonecutter is not as important as it once was, so even a citizen of that community might not know that impressive designation.

What are unique or little-known facts about your town? 

Get Information Before You Give Information

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A way to improve immediately the quality of your communication is to get information before you give information. Here is the way this technique works.

When you are asked a question, before giving an answer, follow instead with a question seeking more information. For example, I was visiting a colleague in his office when a student came in asking if he could make up a test he had missed.

Instead of directly answering the question, my friend said, "Did you miss any other classes on the day you missed mine?" The question startled the student because this response was not what he expected. I could tell he wasn't ready to answer the question. Haltingly he admitted that he had missed my friend's class to study for another test. This added information affected how my friend counseled the student about making up the test. As I recall, he allowed him to do so but with a grade penalty.

Someone asks for directions to a popular shopping mall. Before answering, I may ask, “What time of day do you plan to go?” Since the time of day determines traffic patterns, I might recommend a different way if the trip is during rush hour traffic versus a one o'clock destination time.

A friend asks for a restaurant recommendation for dinner. Before answering, ask if there is a ceiling on how much he is willing to pay. That answer will help determine what restaurants you recommend.

Thus the quality of communication improves when you seek more information in order to give a more specific or accurate answer.

What are good follow-up questions you use to get more information before answering the original question? 

Making Your Presentation Memorable

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As speakers we want our audiences to remember what we say in our presentations. It makes my day when a person comes up to me and quotes something I said in a speech months or years ago. Of course I wish it happened more often!

In searching for that memorable idea or concept, consider finding a quotation that takes your breath away. It can be funny, serious, or thought-provoking. For example, I was reading a review of a biography on Stan Musial, one of my three favorite baseball players. (Mickey Mantle and Bob Gibson are the other two). Preacher Roe, a great pitcher of the Brooklyn Dodgers was asked how to get Musial out. His response was, “Throw him four wide ones then try to pick him off first base.” What a great way to make a point on Musial’s greatness as a hitter! Contrast that line with simply saying, “I can’t get him out by pitching.”

How do you find great lines? Go to sources not easily found by others. That is one of the huge benefits for the speaker of reading biographies and autobiographies. You find statements that many people will never hear or find because not that many people read those kinds of books. Listen to interviews on NPR. Be ready with questions for the person who may have had unusual experiences in life; they may give you a gem of a quotation you can later use.

One of my favorites comes from a student in my son’s Purdue public relations class who wore a t-shirt saying, “You can never relive a party, but you can always retake a class.” I’m not sure that the words are valuable but they are memorable.

Watching Window Washers

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As I sat in the Mercantile Library on the 11th floor of a building in downtown Cincinnati, I watched window washers hanging from the side of an office building. They were washing windows at about the 24th floor of a neighboring structure. I began to get a little queasy just thinking about standing on a plank that high above the ground, actually moving my body enough to wash windows rather than hanging on for dear life. As you might have guessed, I have a terrible fear of heights. These guys make a living dangling on the side of a high-rise building each day.

Fear is such a personal matter. These “high wire” performers who think nothing about swaying back and forth at such an elevation might not for any amount of money stand in front of an audience to deliver a speech. I certainly do get “butterflies in the stomach” when I speak, but I crave the challenge of holding an audience’s attention and sharing information that will be helpful to them. I don’t know what a window washer might say to me that would ease my fear of washing windows on a skyscraper, but here are some suggestions for the speaker to conquer his or her fears of speaking.

  1. Be prepared. There is no substitute for preparation. Practice your speech, revise, and then practice again.
  2. Pick out friendly faces to speak to. These pleasant expressions will inspire you and help you relax.
  3. Think positive things about your content. One of my favorite thoughts is, “This information will be helpful to this audience.” Repeat this statement to yourself several times before you speak.
  4. Have a great opening line that you know will grab the attention of your audience.
  5. Pause before you begin to speak as you make eye contact with those friendly faces
  6. Include a personal experience early in your speech. You are most comfortable relating a story.

Maybe someday someone will convince me that washing windows 200 feet in the air is nothing to fear (I can’t imagine such a day), but I know these are ways that will relieve your anxiety in delivering a speech.

Earning Respect: Experience and Knowledge

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Unless you are an NBA fan, you probably don’t know much about Tom Thibodeau. He was recently named NBA Coach of the Year for leading the Chicago Bulls to the best record in the NBA this season. What is unusual is that he is not a former professional basketball player like many coaches in the professional ranks.

What do you suppose gives him the ability to motivate his exceptional players who make millions and have been treated as prima donnas since they were in junior high school? The key is his experience and knowledge of the game. He has spent over two decades as a journeyman assistant with six NBA teams and several years as an assistant at the college level.

General Manager of the Chicago Bulls, Gar Forman, believes players listen to Thibodeau because they know this guy prepares and has a plan. One of his former bosses from Harvard said, “He just happens to be someone who understood the NBA, could relate to players, was willing to outwork everyone, and knew what he was talking about.”

Knowledge and experience go a long way in any career; that is why a teacher who has been in the classroom for ten years is going to be paid more than the person who is in the second year of teaching. These two traits are especially true with the public speaker.

If you want to earn the respect of your audience show that through your experience and knowledge on your topic. In fact some speakers whose delivery is poor and speech organization is nonexistent may still have great attention because the audience can tell he/she knows more about the topic than anyone else.

Eric Hoffer, American philosopher and author of The True Believer, was self-taught and a poor public speaker. Yet he mesmerized an audience of university faculty I was a part of at Appalachian State University in 1967 because of the fascinating information he shared. I was amazed at how well he controlled the speaking situation because of his knowledge.

Use one of the two traits to gain the other. If you don’t have experience, then learn all you can about the subject. Then use your knowledge to practice what you have learned and thus gain experience. The age of the speaker will certainly affect the amount of experience he or she may have, but you can gain knowledge at any stage in life and use that to earn respect.

You know you have enough knowledge when you have so much good material for your presentation that you struggle knowing what to leave out. On the other hand, if you don’t have enough material to fill your 20 minutes, you will find the speaking situation very challenging. I have found this to be true in my years of coaching executives as well as students.

Certainly delivery, organization, and word choice are important factors in a speech, but first build your knowledge and experience base.

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor Emeritus of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. Visit his site to read other valuable articles on effective speaking and listening.