Monthly Archives: January 2011

Learning From the Written Word

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Certainly writing style is much different from oral style. Word choice, for example, is simpler and more informal in speaking than in writing. But you can learn about oral style by reading. In a recent Wall Street Journal article, movie critic Robert Ebert examined film criticism that is available online. He wrote that due to the rise of technology, companies are able to restore old films so that "Today we can see the work of Buster Keaton more clearly than he could in the last three decades of his life."  The comparison here clarifies the amazing advances in restoration of old films in the minds of the reader.

A comparison can do the same in a speech. The listener cannot go back over what you have said, so you must be instantly clear. The comparison is probably the shortest way to make a point clear.

Ebert contrasted the poor writing styles of academics with the outstanding film criticism now available online: "They communicate in prose as clear as running water."  Again the simple comparison helps the reader understand instantly how Ebert feels about such writing style.

Thus a speaker can learn clarity in his/her craft by reading essays as well as working on specific speaking skills. In fact, any medium other than speaking will broaden our skills in what to say and how to say it.

Listening from the Heart

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In my listening seminars and university classes, students learn that empathic listening, or listening from the heart, will affect other aspects of communication. Colin Firth makes a similar point in the article from the Wall Street Journal mentioned in yesterday’s blog.

There he recounts what it was like to play the role of a stutterer as King George VI. In talking about the difficulty in taking on such a role, he said, "…whenever I play someone who suffers, I feel there's a danger that I'm an imposter. So it's a relief that people who stammer haven't felt misrepresented." Then he said, in concluding his point, "When there's a story that takes everyone through something like this, it's a way to say to others, 'Now you live through it and see how it feels.'"

            That is why, in most conversations, you relate best and hold the attention of the other when that person feels you understand and are concerned.

The Power of Stories

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For many years I have stressed the impact of stories in presentations and conversations in my training and coaching sessions.  Colin Firth in a recent article in the Wall Street Journal  talked about his role as a stutterer in the excellent movie, "The King’s Speech." Firth said, "The reason why people tell stories  and read stories and see films is to feel less alone." 

People relate to stories because of the human element.  We identify with stories because of the emotional impact a story often delivers as is the case in this movie based on a true story about King George VI of England.  We are comforted by the story because we too have had challenging or difficult or even humorous events in life. 

So as you prepare speeches, remember: stories have impact.

The Sound of Silence

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Activity ground to a halt on Monday at 11 am as President Obama led the nation in observing a moment of silence for those slain in Tucson. Silence can accomplish things words cannot.

Silence commands respect. A stadium full of people becomes silent as the National Anthem is sung.

As I grew up in the Simon and Garfunkel era, one of my favorite songs was "The Sound of Silence" which has multiple levels of meaning. "But my words like silent raindrops fell and echoed in the wells of silence," can lead in many directions. That, however, is what silence does:  it gives you time to think and ponder, whether a silence of a few seconds or a silence of minutes. That is why silence plays such a role in communication. Without the silence of the pause between sentences or at the ends of thoughts or in the middle of a sentence to dramatize what is coming next, words would have less meaning.

That's why the statement by Houston Person, jazz tenor saxophonist, has a significant communication application. As he was quoted in a recent issue of The Wall Street Journal, "Silence is as much a part of the music as the notes are. After all, if you were to speak to someone and not pause here and there everything would have equal importance. You use silence to underline something, whether you play it on an instrument or speak it in a conversation."

Silence encourages people to think for themselves. We all know what solitary time can mean as we think through an idea or preview the responsibilities of the day. This intrapersonal communication increases the quality of our interpersonal communication.

We have all experienced silence when the elementary school teacher observed misbehavior in the classroom; she or he would simply stop talking, remaining silent until the class also got quiet. Silence thus can be used as a disciplinary tool.

Herman Melville said, "All profound things and emotions of things are preceded and attended by silence."  Make your words have more meaning by using silence to show what you feel as you speak them.

Speak in shorter sentences to allow for more punctuation to stress certain words. Pause anytime there is a strong emotion attached. Stop at the end of a thought to allow the listener time to assimilate your idea and perhaps feel comfortable responding to your thought. Pause to emphasize a statistic or proper noun. When you pause, the listener will pay better attention. As Martin Farquhar Tupper stated, "Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech."

Calvin Coolidge was famous for his brevity of words and his silence. At a social gathering a lady said to President Coolidge, “I've made a bet with a friend that I can get you to say at least three words this evening. What do you say to that?"

Calvin Coolidge: "You lose."

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. See additional articles and resources at www.sboyd.com. To book Steve, call 800-727-6520 or email him through his website.

What Is That I Hear?

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A miniature schnauzer used to be part of our family. Sebastian had a high-pitched yip that was consistently irritating, and he would bark when anyone came near the house. One day, unbeknownst to me, our neighbor Marg was visiting my wife in the living room. As I came in the door, Sebastian did his usual yipping, so in response I imitated his bark back to him, simply to aggravate him more. Marg overheard my echoing the dog and exclaimed, "Is that another dog?"  And my wife had to admit that it was her husband. Identifying sounds can be a fascinating challenge.

          One day a few years ago I was fishing with my good friend, Dave. I was startled when I heard a slapping sound nearby. Dave also heard it and said, "Did you hear that beaver?"  He told me that it was the sound of the animal hitting his tail against the water. He then told me how the different animals and birds that live on or near the creek provide us with a calliope of sounds if we will just listen and learn to identify their unique sounds. John Burroughs, American essayist and naturalist, said, "I go to nature to be soothed and healed, and to have my senses put in order." After that conversation I became more aware of not just the beauty of the creek, but also the sounds of wildlife that inhabit the area.

          You see, sharpening our abilities to recognize sounds will also encourage us to listen to other stimuli around us. Learning to listen is not just a technique or a process, but also involves the art of distinguishing one sound from another. You may have thought that all crying babies sound alike. However, when you have a baby of your own you soon discover that your baby has a unique sound that you can identify from all the other babies. One reason is that you have practiced listening for its sound.

            Although we live in the city, our backyard is part of an easement that is basically a wooded area inhabited by a variety of wildlife. They include deer, squirrels, rabbits, foxes, and coyotes. What has been an education is to recognize the howling of the coyote in contrast to a barking dog. This was a new, eerie sound when we first heard it late one night. But we can now identify the howling easily. It was a matter of learning to distinguish among animal sounds.

          Make it a goal to learn to identify sounds; when you do, you are developing the same self-discipline to listen actively to people. Can you distinguish among the sounds of the siren of an ambulance, fire truck, and police car?  How about the sounds of different caliber guns?  Can you tell the difference in sounds from a shotgun, rifle, and pistol?  Then if you want to dance to Latin music, can you tell the difference in music for the cha-cha, the salsa, and the tango? 

          One way to begin is to listen to music from such sources as Moodstreams. You can find online articles about improving listening. Remember the point made by John Cage: "There is no such thing as an empty space or an empty time. There is always something to see, something to hear. In fact, try as we may to make a silence, we cannot." 

Stephen D. Boyd, Ph.D., CSP, is Professor of Speech Communication, College of Informatics, Northern Kentucky University, near Cincinnati. He presents keynotes and seminars to corporations and associations whose people want to speak and listen effectively. See additional articles and resources at www.sboyd.com. To book Steve, call 800-727-6520 or email him through his website.