Favorite Lines

Sometimes a two-minute story is not what the speaker needs. What is needed is a one liner or a short dialogue. Here are some of my favorites.

A message posted near a handicapped sign:  “If you are not handicapped when you park here, you will be when you leave.”

Sign in a middle school homeroom:  Laugh and the class laughs with you. But you go to the principal’s office alone.”

Mark Twain had this to say about a certain person he did not like:  “I didn’t attend the funeral but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

During the presidential debates in 1980, some complained that Reagan was too old to run for office. Reagan began his comments at one of the debates with Mondale by saying, “I will not make age an issue in this campaign. I am not going to exploit for political purposes my opponent’s youth and inexperience.”

A friend of mine told about her kindergartener getting into her car after school one day and saying, “Our class learned how to tell time today, except for one person.”  “Who was that?” my friend asked. His reply: “Me.”

A salesperson for a certain Chicago cemetery presented to community groups a program he called, “Grave Happenings.”

Sometimes it can be a message on a bumper sticker or refrigerator magnet, such as: “Why am I in this handbasket and where is the world going with me?”

Be ready to write down a line that makes you laugh or makes you think. You never know when what you write could be the great beginning of your next presentation.